tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-63535302771376344.post1883747114904374441..comments2023-06-25T06:07:14.706-05:00Comments on O-L-I [Opinionated Layman's Input]: You Gotta Have PhiliosTim Laitinenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07659772910035894952noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-63535302771376344.post-9248651568097279162010-03-05T11:00:53.935-06:002010-03-05T11:00:53.935-06:00I suspect you may not be defining "friendline...I suspect you may not be defining "friendliness" the same way the people in the studies were. I doubt they really meant that a church should just have people who greet you with a smile when you walk in, or have a lot of church suppers, and that's the end of it. The command to love one another is the second greatest commandment, and if people can't "know we are Christians by our love," we aren't keeping God's commandments. <br /><br />A church is only partially for worship. If someone comes to the worship service on Sunday and goes on their merry way, never to be involved outside of sitting through that service, they are missing much of what church is. It's also for teaching and discipleship, and it's for Christian community and serving one another. What I want to see in a church is people who are invested in one another's lives. If you are elderly or laid up with an illness and you need someone to mow your lawn, I'd expect church members to surround you and meet that need. I'd expect them to bring each other meals when needed, spend time praying together, and even give each other money in a crisis. And we have had that in every church we've been involved with (not necessarily just in our peer groups, either).<br /><br />So when I think of a "friendly" church, I don't think of one with smiling people passing out the bulletins and that's it. I have been to churches where multiple people almost knocked me over racing to greet me and shake my hand vigorously, and that really scared me off! (When the pastor at one church implored visitors to come down so he could "love on our necks," we fled as soon as possible!) What I think of as friendliness is some evidence that people in the church are connected and serving one another. When I join a church, I expect to invest much of myself in it, so I'd like a place where I can find Christ-centered fellowship (which includes people being willing to accept correction and more interested in glorifying God than having a social club or gossiping) rather than being disconnected or having people looking askance at me or all wrapped up in themselves!<br /><br />I was just thinking earlier this morning about a Sunday School class we once visited, where it seemed clear to us that no one really knew each other outside those four walls. They didn't greet each other knowingly or seem happy to see each other or exchange small talk as we waited for class to begin. That was a far cry from our experience where we had moved from. My hunch was proven 8 or 10 months later, when we'd never gone back to that class again and we got a phone message from the leader's wife asking for something, and her message said, "This is Trish from Sunday School." I mean--she was the one who took attendance, and she somehow thought we were in her class even though we'd only been there once, nearly a year before? I don't know what made her think we were even still in that church! (We were, but we had continued looking elsewhere briefly after visiting that class.)<br /><br />And, as for this statement: "if first impressions are so strongly based on whether or not you’re greeted at the door, may I suggest you re-think why you’re going to church in the first place," I agree with that for Christians, but there will always be some visitors who don't know Christ yet and just decide to stop in and check the church out, and they will leave for superficial reasons. It's embarrassing to me now how many times before I really came to Christ that I would check out a youth group or Bible study or something and then leave for a very superficial reason. (Of course, it's all in God's timing anyway, but since I'm not as Calvinist as you are, I do worry about putting stumbling blocks in people's paths! Whether someone comes to Christ is not up to us, but we can still be disobedient if we don't do our part to light the way.)Alisonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-63535302771376344.post-25705225537267112612010-02-22T12:44:07.464-06:002010-02-22T12:44:07.464-06:00This is a wonderful truth that needs to be heard t...This is a wonderful truth that needs to be heard to all the churches in America. Even the ones with the most Philios, because there is always someone that is outside looking in that is missed for some reason or another.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08823336542565990892noreply@blogger.com