Thursday, April 26, 2012

Virginity Bounty is Underpriced

Ashley Madison is not the name of Tim Tebow's girlfriend.

Ashley Madison is the name of the website whose owner will pay anybody $1 million to prove that they've been able to take Tebow's virginity.

So does that mean that if he's been secretly dating somebody for months, he can get engaged to her now, get married in a few months, and be $1 million richer on the day after their wedding?

Not likely, is it?  After all, Noel Biderman, owner of, doesn't want Tebow to be virtuous about his intimate behavior.  He wants Tebow to fall for the same fornication Kool-Aid he and all of his website's fans - all 13 million registered users - have done.

"Confession is Selfish"

How perverse are Biderman and Ashley Madison?  Consider these excerpts from an entry entitled "How to Deal With the Guilt of an Affair" on company's blog:

"So you set up a profile on Ashley Madison, you met someone, and you started an affair. Now you feel guilty. What do you do about that? ...The first thing you need to know is, this is normal, and you’re not the only one who goes through it... Here’s the best piece of advice I can give you about all of this. Are you ready?

  "Don’t confess.  That’s right. I said don’t be honest. Lie. Never tell. You know why? Because while suspecting something’s going on may not feel great for your partner, knowing it for sure can be devastating. It can end your relationship. It can make your husband or wife feel horrible, and deeply damage their self-esteem.

  "Think about the reason you’d consider telling your significant other about your affair... It’s because you feel like YOU can’t live with the guilt, right?  ...So you think if you tell and get it off your chest, YOU won’t feel bad anymore.  That’s all probably true. But this isn’t only about YOU. As you begin to feel better for having cast off that burden, your spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, whoever, feels like crap. How is that fair?

  "...Confessing is selfish. If you can’t handle the guilt, end the affair and move on. If you absolutely have to get it off your chest, tell someone other than the person you cheated on. Talk to your best friend, your sibling, your pastor, a bartender, or a taxi driver you’ll never see again..."

Words to live by, eh, Biderman?  Confession of guilt is all about the offender, not the victim?  Ignorance is bliss?

And, "tell your pastor"?!  You're kidding, right?  If their pastor is worth anything, what he'll tell them should contradict all of your "advice" and everything your company stands for.

Saying "confession is selfish" is one of the stupidest twists of logic and denials of reality I've ever heard.  Confession is liberating for both the offender and the offendee, even if you don't believe all of the Biblical reasons for why it's so.  Sure, confessing wrongs is rarely easy or fun, but it's the first step towards reconciliation and healing.  Denying the opportunity for reconciliation is what's selfish.

Virginity Bounty Elevates Tebow at Biderman's Expense

And what if, in a worst-case scenario, some slut does take your challenge seriously and manages to crush Tebow's faithful resistance against fornication to smithereens; what will you have proved?  That evil feels good?  We all know that.  That fidelity is passe?  We all know lots of people already believe that.  That cheating can leave emotional scars?  That some idiots will do anything for money?

That Tebow isn't as virtuous as some of his admirers assume him to be?  We believers already know that, too.

As a born-again Christian, whenever he sins - and like the rest of us, he sins all the time - Tebow benefits from God's grace.  And infidelity, before God's eyes, is equal to any sin other than denying His Son.  Sure, it would be a public relations blunder on his part, but in terms of his faith, it will be a sin that - just like all the rest of his sins - he'll need to confess before God and whomever else he's hurt.  Sexual morality is indeed a big deal to most evangelical Christians, but God's forgiveness is greater than your taunts.

And what if Tebow remains faithful to his vow of chastity?  He won't even be able to claim he did it all by himself.  He'll have relied on strength and integrity that God gives all of His people to withstand attacks from people like you.  He'll have demonstrated that he values the price that Christ paid on the cross for a relationship with him far, far more than your $1 million pittance.

After all, as you probably have already learned with your website, you can't put a pricetag on love.

So be prepared, Mr. Biderman.  Either way - whether you get to pay out your $1 million, or not - God wins.  If you'd ever bother to stop and listen to Tebow, you'll learn that his life and skills aren't about Him, but about His Savior.  He confesses Christ as his Lord.  And he confesses his sins to his Lord.

I realize you won't understand any of this unless - or even, until - the Holy Spirit reveals these truths and how they work to your own heart and mind.  I pray that He does, especially since you're the one who has far stronger misconceptions about sex and fidelity than you think Tebow does.

In the meantime, you'd better be careful about which state you'll be in if you pay out that $1 million.  Being a pimp is only legal in Nevada, you know.

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