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Are Mom and I "victims" of explosive population growth in Arlington, Texas? We've lost half of our backyard to a flood-prone creek, including about 8 mature trees, our back fence, a concrete walking path, a greenhouse, an in-ground irrigation system, and this concrete box, which used to be a fishpond. It's all gone due to flooding and erosion. So we're victims, right? |
America's infatuation with victimhood needs to stop.
Trans people claim to be victims. Donald Trump claims to be a victim. People do all sorts of things from a sense of entitlement because they've been victimized.
The Black reparations debate is degenerating into a mockery of racism - just look at the ridiculous dollar amounts some Californians are publicly floating. Those numbers aren't for reparations, they're for racist revenge.
And technically, before Blacks get their reparations, what about women (regardless of their race or ethnicity) who were disenfranchised in the New World even before Blacks were?
Some teenagers say Covid victimized them by stealing their tender youth. They couldn't go to school (can you hear the irony - most kids hate attending school in the first place), they couldn't go to the mall, they couldn't see their friends. Their parents worked from home, depriving kids of their sacred privacy. As if adults were reveling in all of the Covid drama at their kids' expense.
Victims of bullying, sexual harassment, predatory lenders, rude employees, rude customers, bad drivers, rogue cops, rogue companies, human traffickers, shootings, stabbings, emotional trauma, divorce, adultery... And if you want to get really political, these types of victimhood are also a thing on Google searches: Victims of communism, capitalism, imperialism, eugenics, groupthink, and the death penalty. There are "victims of NordicTrack", the exercise company. Victims of religion. Victims of circumstance. Oh, the humanity... we have victims, victims, all over the country.
Yes, relatively bad things do happen all the time to relatively innocent people. Life seems to be more unfair to some people than to others. But nowadays, it seems people feel entitled to not having bad things happen to them. After all, that's the attitude they exhibit when bad things do happen: "Hey, wait! I don't deserve this. So I'm a victim, and I demand restitution."
Not only do we dislike things that are unfair. We no longer think we should have to accept anything we perceive to be unfair. And we certainly don't want to forgive anybody for slights we think they've made against us. We want to be compensated in some way.
I suspect this victim complex represents an infatuation with the self that goes beyond basic self-preservation. It's a mindset that says I'm not just equal to you, but I'm more important than you. We're taught that saying "I'm BETTER than you" is impolite, so we've actually twisted self-centeredness to claim a compelling aura of "importance".
It's a clever trick. "Importance" is better than "better", because being "better" requires a quantifiable measurement of some value.
Meanwhile, "importance" doesn't imply that what makes us important can be measured, merely that importance should be conveyed on the principle of some claim of harm. In other words, "importance" can more specifically imply a need for an offender (whether an individual or society) to construct special mechanisms of deference. "Importance" can indeed be something important, or it could simply be claimed by somebody, regardless of whether society as a whole, based on conventional metrics, has deemed you to be of importance. Hence, the victim complex.
"I'm a victim, so I'm important, and I demand justice, because justice is important."
Yes, justice is important, but what is "justice"? And what makes your victimhood more important than somebody else's victimhood?
Take me, for instance. I'm a White male, so immediately, many folks in our country view me as an oppressor, and a creator of victims. Simply because of my gender and skin color. This is presumed without any consideration of my personhood in the context of my thoughts, beliefs, when I was born, and what I desire for my fellow human beings. But do you realize I could claim victimhood for myself?
The last church I attended, for over 20 years, is a Presbyterian church. Early, early Presbyterians were persecuted in Scotland. One of my maternal ancestors was sent to America from Scotland by the notorious British warmonger Oliver Cromwell because he would not bow to the Church of England. So in a way, my family history and personal Presbyterianism make me a victim of England.
The only church I've ever joined as a member was a Baptist church, the historic Calvary Baptist, in New York City. But did you know that in colonial America, Baptists were persecuted? Rhode Island was formed as a state for persecuted Baptists. Persecution of Baptists continued in America even after our Revolutionary War. Did you know that? The persecution was committed mostly by adherents to the Church of England and Puritans, with Baptists and Quakers most often victimized. So in a way, my Baptist heritage makes me a victim of early colonists.
My paternal ancestry is Finnish. Within Scandinavia, Finland has historically been considered of least importance, with what for centuries was its relatively poor economy and vast rural, inaccessible landscape. My late aunt told me that Finns who came to America and worked as servants for Manhattan's elite were usually the lowest-paid, hired only for the lowliest jobs, and were hardly ever allowed to serve at table or parties. So in a way, my Finnish heritage makes me a victim of 20th Century Manhattan society.
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My half of the silver spoons my paternal great-aunt saved from their home in Viipuri, Finland. My brother and his family have the other half. |
Oh, and my Finnish heritage makes me a victim of Russian aggression. Back at the beginning of the Second World War, everybody was too preoccupied with Hitler to notice Russia's invasion of Finland in what Finns call the "Winter War". My paternal grandfather's hometown used to be Viipuri, Finland, but that city no longer exists. When the Russians invaded, they changed the city's name to Vyborg, and literally took over every privately-owned house and gave them to Russians. My ancestors had only several hours notice to flee, and they left everything - except some silver spoons which they could easily pack as they fled. Not much of an inheritance, some might say. So I'm a victim of Russian imperialism.
I've never owned land. Even after the ratification of the US Constitution, I would not have been allowed to vote, since only landowners (who were men, and White) could vote. Not all of my American ancestors owned land. So I'm a victim of America's old voting laws.
I was bullied constantly in junior high. I'm a victim of the Arlington Independent School District.
Women in Times Square used to ask me for the time when I'd walk by. I'm a victim of female empowerment. (I literally used to look at my wristwatch and tell them what time of day it was, in answer to their query, and they'd look at me like I was some kind of weirdo - until a friend finally told me they were prostitutes asking if I "had the time" for sex!)
I'm bald, which most people consider to be unflattering. I wear glasses. I'm not ripped or fit. Yikes - I'm a victim of society's standards for attractiveness.
As far as I can figure, the only people in the United States today who can't claim any victim status are handsome, well-groomed, heterosexual, White, male, married (to a woman), healthy, land-owning Episcopalians whose ancestors have all also been all of the same.
Which, of course, is an absurd notion, right? My point is this: There are all sorts of ways we could claim victimhood, from the way other drivers endanger us on freeways, to the way burglars force us to cower behind locked doors, to the ways politicians of any stripe incessantly foment fear and discord so they can stay in office.
Victimhood happens all the time. To everybody. So in reality, victimhood itself isn't necessarily grounds for recompense. Hey - life is not fair. It never has been. All sorts of negative situations impact all sorts of people. Human history is replete with unfairness, inequity, and injustice.
Does that mean we shouldn't strive for fairness, equity, and justice? Of course not. But we have to be wise and discerning in how we evaluate our reality, and advocate for all we consider to be good, beneficial, helpful, and kind.
It's called "loving our neighbor", if you are Christian, or Jewish. Or it's called the "golden rule": Treating other people the way we want other people to treat us.
Not with revenge. Not with fury. Not even with selfishness.
And just because we might be a victim of something, the justice we may seek for ourselves itself needs to be representative of fairness. We can't presume making a victim out of somebody else can somehow even whatever scores we're trying to keep. Two wrongs never make a right, do they?
This is is hard, especially since our society has decided emotionalism merits more consideration than facts, logic, and respect for others. It's now OK to make modern villains out of history's transgressors. It's now OK to take viscerally the things we've decided are unfair. This isn't to say that we shouldn't advocate for what we think is right. But there are positive and negative ways of doing that.
Remember, your life isn't just about you. My life isn't just about me. We each live in a context of time and place that has been created through thousands of years of other peoples' mistakes, virtues, inventions, egos, aspirations, crimes, hatred, and beliefs.
Some people have won wars over other people. Some people have exercised political power over other people. Even today, some people are wealthier than others. Some people are more educated than others. No society in history has ever had pure equality. We can legislate for equality, we can fight wars and rage and rant, but there is no perfect society. Every generation produces yet another crop of selfish people. And it seems that the more history we humans accrue, we're seeing more and more victims.
And it's particularly bizarre that in America - of all places - with the world's wealthiest and most powerful economy, with no nation physically attacking us, both conservative and liberal pundits rage about being victims.
Perhaps never before in history have "victims" been so spoiled.
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